By Cynthia M Piccolo
Passive-aggressive coworkers are probably the most quietly annoying, frustrating, and potentially destructive coworkers in any workplace. Passive-aggressive behavior can involve stubbornness, sullenness, resentment, procrastination, “forgetting” to do something, chronic lateness, and intentional inefficiency. At the most extreme, passive-aggressive behavior involves purposefully not getting things done and asking for forgiveness later – or, more likely, making excuses later. In cases where work is actually done, it may be performed too late to be helpful (e.g., “You needed this for the meeting at nine? I thought you said for the meeting at noon!”), may be performed in a way that makes it useless (e.g., “You wanted the stats for ’06? I thought you said the stats for ’96!”), or it may be otherwise sabotaged.
Many women of my acquaintance describe passive-aggressive behavior as a typical household strategy of the men in their lives. For example, when asked to clean something, their men do it so poorly that the “work” was pointless (intentional inefficiency), do it with such a poor humor (sullenness and resentment) that it’s not worth dealing with the attitude, or put it off so long (procrastination) that the woman does the task herself. The theory behind the behavior is that if they do the work poorly enough, or make a big enough production out of it, that the woman won’t ask again.
People may or may not be aware that they are engaging in passive-aggressive behavior, but in both cases, the results are the same: Work is not done or is done poorly, and the behavior frustrates the wishes of others and makes others angry. In the workplace, passive-aggressive behavior means authority is (indirectly) challenged and an individual’s or a team’s work doesn’t get done, so productivity suffers. It also makes for a stressful, negative environment.
Why do people use this behavioral strategy? There are many possible reasons:
They lack self-confidence.
They don’t believe that a task is actually necessary or urgent; rather, they feel that the person asking is just being bossy.
They have a desire to avoid unpleasant duties or interactions (particularly without directly challenging authority).
They have a fear or dislike of authority.
It’s an outlet for anger that cannot be expressed verbally.
It’s a safe outlet for aggression, when direct aggression is not acceptable or not permitted.
They have an underlying mental health problem, such as depression.
How do you deal with passive-aggressive coworkers?
Keep your distance, if possible. They will drain you with their attitude, obstructionist behavior, and incomplete or inadequate work, and they will make your work more difficult.
Don’t rely on them – you’ll just be disappointed.
But if you have to work with them, whether as a coworker or as a supervisor:
Since they may have confidence or authority issues, think of the old saying “you’ll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” Tell them you understand how busy they are and that you appreciate their work, while reaffirming how important the task is.
Ask for their input. If they feel their opinions are valued, they may be less likely to resist the work.
Don’t let them see your frustration or anger. Particularly in cases in which they’re aware of their behavior, it’s likely to encourage further passive-aggressive behavior.
If you’re in a supervisory position, document the problematic behavior and give feedback (e.g., point out inconsistencies between words and actions). Try to engage them in finding solutions (e.g., more time for certain tasks). Suggest ways in which they can express anger or frustration in a more appropriate fashion. Provide follow-up.
If you’re in a supervisory position, and the behavior is constant and serious, suggest that they seek help.
