By Mark Grzeskowiak
I’ve decided to become a hooker! But it’s not the type of hooking you’re thinking of. Hooking, in this case, means skipping work. Two things have inspired this risqué (risky?) behavior: a recent study by the Hudson Highland Group and my recent discovery of Kerry Speckman’s website, hookybook.com.
Survey Says...
The 2005 study by the Hudson Highland Group found that nearly one-third of American workers admit to skipping work and lying to their bosses about the reason why. Although 22% said that they skipped work in order to look after a sick family member, most respondents said they played hooky because they needed a break. According to the survey, those most likely to play hooky were those under the age of 30 and those who earned less than $20,000 a year. What’s really surprising is that 41% of the respondents said that they had skipped work by feigning an illness, even though they knew that their bosses were aware they weren’t actually sick!
“The Hooky Book”
Freelance writer Kerry Speckman is the author of The Hooky Book: More than 200 Excuses for Rolling in Late, Skipping Out Early and Scamming a Whole Day Off. “Hate your job? Become a hooker!” she provocatively suggests on her website, and provides visitors with what she calls the “Three Commandments” of playing hooky:
It’s polite to play hooky. (Don’t think about this one too much. While I endorse playing hooky, her reasoning for this point doesn’t make sense: “To report to work every single day, without using any of your time off, is downright rude.”)
It keeps people employed. (This point makes sense: Those who maintain employment records and process employee absence forms would have far less to do if people stopped skipping work.)
It’s healthy to play hooky. (This point also makes sense: People who never miss a day of work may look well adjusted and healthy, but underneath that shiny veneer is a stressed-out person with irritable bowel syndrome.)
To assist the prospective hooker, Speckman provides links to tips for playing hooky, and a list of the top 10 best excuses for playing hooky.
But Seriously...
Alas, when it comes to healthcare workers, there’s a serious side to the banter about playing hooky. In some workplaces, the work can wait a day. For example, as a university student, I spent one summer doing database cold calls for a brokerage firm, and the only thing that ever gave me pause to reconsider playing hooky was my boss. He was a large man, looked a bit like Tony Soprano, and had a short fuse – you get the picture. And when I bused tables and cleaned dishes at a restaurant during high school, skipping work was actually a sign of honor. (Besides, it was very difficult to get fired.)
And whether you’re employed full-time, part-time, per diem, or as a traveler, playing hooky can damage your reputation for being dependable. Certainly, as a traveler or as a per diem worker, protecting your reputation for reliability is crucial: unreliable = no calls.
Some Good News...
Another interesting thing about the Hudson Highland Group survey is that it found that workers are less prone to play hooky these days, because most felt their employers had adequate procedures in place to deal with employee personal days. Employers tended to agree that such days were needed, and that employees benefited from the recharge and stress relief derived from these personal or mental health days.
I’m therefore going to play hooky. Not today, and perhaps not tomorrow, but one of these days. And when I do, I will feel no regrets and no remorse – in fact, I’ll consider it a service.
Disclaimer: BioSpace does not endorse playing hooky.
Notice: I understand that the editor will fire me if she catches me playing hooky, and this article will be used against me in an employment court.
