FOR the last nine years, I’ve been engaged in some of the most fascinating work a woman can do: talking to and surveying thousands of men to investigate what they think — and then writing books about it. I enter into conversations with unsuspecting men sitting next to me on airplanes, on the subway and in coffee shops and give them a chance to share their innermost thoughts anonymously. My goal is to dig out the inner, unspoken perceptions that affect women every day in the workplace and at home.