Just Keep Swimming: How to Cope With Rejection on the Job Market

Whether you’ve been on the job market for a few weeks, months, or in the case of some academic positions maybe even years, being passed over for opportunities time and time again can really do a number on your morale and confidence level.

The danger here is in letting rejection chip away at your own sense of worth and value as a professional to the point that you start to come across in job interviews as defeated, insecure, unsure of yourself, or just generally worn down. Job market fatigue can cast a cloud of negativity over you that potential employers are keen to pick up on, and it’s likely to inform their hiring decision.

Also, if you’re fed up with all the “no”s you’ve been hearing, you may jump at the first “yes” you get and end up accepting a job offer that may not be the best career move for you simply because you dread staying on the market and facing more rejection.

The key to coping with repeated rejection on the job market is to do all you can to stay positive, confident and energized so you can convey these vibes in your interviews. While you want to take an honest look at why you might be having a tough time securing an offer, avoid being too hard on yourself by understanding that oftentimes a rejection has little or nothing to do with you personally.  

Here are some common-sense strategies for coping with rejection on the job market:

Resist the temptation to take it personally

Especially if you’re going after highly competitive positions, it’s important to keep in mind that a rejection is oftentimes not directly related to your profile as a professional. It’s not personal. Not getting the job offer doesn’t mean that you’re not a qualified, competitive candidate as many other factors (which you’ll likely never be aware of) could be at play in the company.

Examine your skills gap

If you’re hearing the same thing from multiple employers, it might be time to examine any skills gaps you may have that could make you a stronger candidate. Are there any areas where you need a bit more experience, more training/certifications/education, more publications or professional conferences? Be honest with yourself about your strengths (don’t sell yourself short) but also recognize areas where a little improvement and professional development might have a big impact on your success in the job market.

Ask why

You may not feel comfortable asking this to every employer or interviewer who rejects your application, but when you can, be open and upfront and ask them specifically why you’re being passed over for the position. What have you got to lose at that point anyhow? Remember not to be negative or aggressive in any way here; simply tell them that you’re interested in evolving and becoming a stronger candidate and you’d greatly appreciate any feedback that can help you do that. When asked respectfully and with the goal of improving yourself, employers are often happy to explain exactly why you weren’t given a final offer.

Refresh your resume and cover letter

Don’t coast when it comes to your job application materials like your resume/CV and cover letter. Seek out qualified, honest readers (ideally other people in your field) to give you feedback about your materials, and keep optimizing, improving and customizing them each time you apply for a new position.

Keep networking

Even if you’re feeling a little weather-beaten from the job market, don’t let that stop you from continuing to network -- networking is one of the most important, impactful professional exercises you can do when you’re on the hunt for a new job, and you never know when you’re going to connect with the right person who can help you get the position you want. Keep networking online, at social functions, at events geared specifically to networking, or at professional gatherings, and let everyone you meet know that you’re looking to make a change.

Surround yourself with positive people

When you’re depressed about not getting the jobs you want, personal relationships and daily life outside of work will either serve as a source of comfort, motivation, and positivity or, if you’re surrounded by negative people, can drag you even further down the spiral of self-defeat and insecurity.

Don’t give up

Keep your momentum. Don’t let the rejection get inside your head and cause you to let go of your career goals or settle for career choices that you know aren’t right for you. It’s one thing to take a proactive step to remove yourself from the job market temporarily while you address any skills or knowledge gaps you have so you can come back stronger than ever; it’s quite another simply give up and stay in a position that you don’t want simply because you’re tired of not getting the results you want.