Read on for tips on how to handle a difficult co-worker you just can’t get along with.
You can’t (and won’t) get along with everyone. It’s a fact of life, and one that’s best to learn early on. Usually you can just avoid people you don’t click with, but unfortunately that’s not the case when the person in question works in the same office as you.
If you really don’t like a co-worker or team member you have to interact with regularly, it can add another layer of stress you don’t need. However, there are ways to mitigate the situation. Read on for tips on how to handle a difficult co-worker you just can’t get along with.
Find Common Ground
You might see all kinds of red flags or have a bad gut instinct about someone, but take a step back before you write them off completely. If you both work at the same company, in the same industry or on the same team it’s likely you have something in common. Remember, you don’t need to be friends with someone to get along with them, but finding some commonality can make small talk before meetings or in the kitchen a lot more tolerable.
Before your next interaction, take a deep breath and go into it with a positive attitude. Ask a generic question or two that might reveal something you both like. Work is a safe subject, so try asking about why they got into the field, or what they like most about it. You can even ask about their career thus far, and how they got to their current role. You’re helping yourself in the long run — having repeated negative interactions won’t help your mood or stress levels.
Learn Your Triggers
Everyone has their pet peeves or things that really bother them regardless of the person doing it. If you don’t know yours right off the bat, do some reflecting. Is there a specific action that gets under your skin? Or a type of comment that just irks you?
When you know what types of things trigger you, you can start to avoid them. Whether this means mentally preparing for a situation when you know something may bother you, or physically removing yourself so you can protect your headspace. While this might not always be possible, you can at least be proactive in your own response — your actions are the only ones that you have control over.
Talk to Your Manager
If the person in question is on your team, you should loop in your manager if or when it starts to impact your work or productivity. They might be able to not only provide insight into the person’s actions, but if they’re aware of the situation then they take appropriate steps to help. Maybe they can move your desk to one further away or avoid putting you in situations with direct interaction when possible.
However, make sure the conversation is productive and fact-based, not one where you’re whining or complaining. Calmly explain your issues and feelings, explaining certain instances that have affected you and why. If you approach the situation maturely, your manager is likely to take you seriously and help you figure out a solution that works for the team as a whole.
So, the next time you find yourself in a situation where someone at work really rubs you the wrong way, try one (or all) of these tips. And remember, being the bigger person counts for a lot.
