Love Your Job but Hate Your Boss?

A bad boss can quickly sour even the best jobs. Employees are often put in the difficult situation of working for a company, on a project, or with a team that they love while simultaneously having to contend with a difficult boss. This can prove especially difficult to cope with because you may be reluctant to embrace the most obvious solution: finding a new job.

So, looking for alternatives to quitting your job? Here are some strategies for addressing the problem of a “bad boss” and decreasing conflict in your workplace, while remaining loyal to your organization and your colleagues.

Make sure it’s them, not you.

Is there anything at all that you could be contributing to the situation that could be causing or adding to the problem? While it may be uncomfortable to examine your own role in a toxic relationship, it’s important that you are self-aware enough at work to realize the kinds of reactions you might be causing in others, including your difficult boss. Perhaps they feel they’re just reacting to you? It’s important to know the role you play in the conflict before you can go about solving it.

Don’t be afraid to confront.

Your first course of action when dealing with a bad boss should be to address and fix the situation head on. You’ll want to use a non-threatening communication style here to de-escalate any further conflict, but it’s perfectly appropriate to express your concern over your perceived “tensions” in the workplace and ask them sincerely what you can do to improve communications and workflow. If you take a non-aggressive and non-accusatory tone, you’re likely to accomplish more and maybe even broker some peace in the workplace.

Just wait.

If your boss really is a toxic person, their performance will eventually reflect their negative influence on the company. Simply put, truly ineffective leaders will not last, so one option is to simply wait it out until they are no longer in that role or with your organization.

Keep your cool.

Don’t react in a very negative way, even if they’re being unreasonable. You’ll likely end up looking irrational or at the very least on par with your boss’s poor communication style. Do as much as you can to disassociate yourself from their poor performance. Your own negative reactions or outbursts – even if they’re justified – can associate you with your boss and, in the eyes of your colleagues, put you on their level.

Don’t let it affect your performance.

Don’t let a bad boss get the better of you or allow your own performance to suffer. You’ll have to tune out the negativity as much as you can to stay vigilant about protecting your own workload and performance, but

Write it down.

You may have the opportunity at some point to discuss your relationship (or lack thereof) with the organization’s leadership or your boss’s boss. You’ll want to be prepared with a list of specific examples of times your boss has stepped out of line, include the date, what happened, who else was witness, and how this affected the project or even overall bottom line for the company.

If you come only with your personal “opinions” of your boss and his/her personality, you’ll risk looking like the problem yourself and they likely won’t take your complaints very seriously.

Minimize contact.

Find any way possible to reduce the number of times in a week that you have to interact with your boss. Instead of chatting in person or over the phone throughout the day, rely more on email (also, you’ll have a written record of your communications) or messaging. Or, when you can, use a colleague or administrator to communicate low-level thoughts, ideas, or issues. The less time you have to spend together, the better.  

Resist bad-mouthing your boss behind their back.

While tempting, office gossip is a dangerous game. The winds can shift right beneath your feet and, before you know it, you have a reputation as a back-stabber or complainer, even if your voice around the water cooler was just one of many.

Think about the bigger picture.

Don’t let your boss’s bad habits cloud your perspective and keep you focused on the here and now. When you’re feeling annoyed, angry, or resentful, it’s difficult to look beyond the situation at hand and see the bigger picture – i.e. your long-term career path. When you’re strategizing about how to cope with a difficult relationship at work, always keep the long-game in mind. Why are you working at your current company/organization? What are you working towards? Are you on a path to growth within the organization? Would you like to stay at your current company or make a switch in a certain number of years?

When you’re able to answer these questions, even just to yourself, the manner in which you should deal with a terrible boss will become apparent to you. For example, if you know that you have another year or two left before you’re likely going to move into a different position or level of leadership in your company, then it may be worth it to just “stick it out” with a bad boss so you can stay on track with your own career goals.

Let the toxicity work in your favor.

If you’re dealing with a difficult boss, use workplace situations that have conflict, misunderstandings, or disagreements to let your own leadership skills shine. If you rise above the fray, serve as a good example for your colleagues in conflict resolution, and in general keep up a high performance amid such toxicity, you’ll begin to be perceived as a natural leader who is looking out for everyone, not just yourself.  

Consider leaving.

If you know that your bad boss is here to stay and your company’s culture accepts and supports the perpetual negativity, then it’s probably time to start looking elsewhere. When you’re certain things in the office won’t change and poor management is just business as usual, you really have only two options: live with the chaos and negativity or find a healthier work environment. The latter seems to make much more sense.